uncalculated risks.
11:44 PM Friday, June 19, 2009
you better lose youself in the music
you better lose youself in the music
the moment you own it
you better never let it go, go
you only get one shot
do not miss your chance to blow
this opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
have you ever regretted not seizing an opportunity due to a slight moment of doubt(in other words, bola naik tekak)? if i get a dollar for everytime this happens to me, i'll be fucking richer than bill gates. There's always the fear of failure, or rejection than haunts my every move, causing me to act on the safer side instead of taking the road less taken which invites countless possibilities. This has been the way i handled situations since young, and i partly blamed my parents for causing me to be this way. they use to never let me handle any decisions my own way. instead of falling off a skateboard and learning from my mistakes and get better from there, they told me to just avoid the problems all the same. metaphorically speaking, of course. and up till now, after i realised to live my own life instead of what my father wants me to be, certain habits are implanted into the way i am, and this is one of them. im the sort of guy that keeps a pros and cons list on an imaginary yellow pad in my mind, and this has got to stop.
i gotta keep telling myself that we only live once, and moments moves and passes without waiting for anyone. it depends on the individual whether they want to seize it or just let it slip by, only to regret not taking the step. i'm not referring to big decisions, because bigger decisions leads to bigger consequences, bad or good. i'm talking about daily life decisions and if you don't plan and dare to do stuffs you never dared to before, your orange juice will taste sweeter and rice will taste better(metaphors of life itself). the next scene of your life will be different from before or what you hope it might be, and it's a reason to wake up in the morning just to see what your day will turn out to be, because you'll never know what will happen by taking uncalculated risks.
and i know that while you were reading this, all of you are asking the same question. so yes, it is about a girl. and now i'll never see her again because i didnt have the fucking balls to seal the deal. oh well, lesson learnt i guess. and at least my image of her will be untainted and perfect.
omfg last week before term break.
10:28 AM Tuesday, June 02, 2009
the thing that's been eating me alive for the whole of first term.
screw you guttenberg!