2:26 AM Friday, March 09, 2007
these few days have been really crappy. HSA sent the letter to my house, only to find tt theres no one home at tt moment. so i had to go to the post office to collect the letter. the fine was 30 bucks. zzz. i was hoping for a warning. so then i got to HSA building to pay the fine, and felt relieved this whole thing is would finally be over and done with.
not quite.
a few days after paying the fine i got a letter from singapore poly stating tt they receive a letter from the HSA regarding my smoking incident. AND I FUCKING HAVE TO GO FOR COUNSELLING. this is the most utterly horrible crap i have ever heard in my life. if i were still in secondary sch, i would have understood. but im in fucking poly now, and im gonna be 18 this year. why why why do you keep wasting you're time on me? there are kids out there who could haf really used this attention, but its not me. first of all im not addicted to smoking(screw your only-saying-that-to-deny-tt-ur-actually-addicted theory. im not, and thats that.). and i cant stress this enough. im gonna be 18 THIS year. 7 more mths ONLY to be exact. -.-
and i got my results back. failed 2 modules only surprisingly. i expected more. nevertheless, it still sucks. now i have an extra 2 modules to complete. im in a dilemma on whether to suck it up and stick with the course or switch to diploma in experience design - innovation and product(DXIP). it concerns my future and sadly, mine doesnt seem bright. fuckit.
2mr is jam session and i didnt learn a single new song. i keep wanting to but im really very moody these days, which makes me just wanna sit and stare into space. and its not helping tt im in a band where i cant play the songs that i like.
on top of all these, my dad is ignoring me since last week. its probably because of me being caught smoking. i guess its much better in many ways, but it really sucks, not having a dad tt u can talk to. my dad is good when it comes to responsibility and stuff, but when it comes to socialising he suck big time. to him, even love is a responsibility, not out of free will. i cant even talk to him about anything. my mom loves me, but when u get screamed at by her everyday for 18 years u dun really wanna be that close to her. not to mention my falling out with my 2 brothers. basically i got no one to talk to when im home.
i dunno how much more of this i can take. theres only so much that i can handle. i cant deny its mostly my fault, but somehow i hope things would be different. friends are all i haf, and yet there are none which i can really pore my soul to. i just hope wad im feeling rite now will pass in time to come. hopefully things will be brighter in the future=)
ok i really gotta pee now. sayonara!
ps: ye lah. kalau ader pape kau the FIRST person aku bilang.